Local Hufflepuff Identified as Slytherin By Sorting Hat

In what many have already declared to be the scandal of the century, J.K. Rowling has found herself in hot water after it was discovered that a popular YouTube personality received conflicting results when he retook the Sorting Hat quiz on Pottermore.

“I could no longer access my original Pottermore account, so I thought I’d retake the quiz live for my channel,” said Justin Baker, who runs the popular Harry Potter YouTube channel, Potterheads. “Last time, I was placed into Hufflepuff, so, by all logic, I should have received the same result, right? The Sorting Hat doesn’t make mistakes. Instead, I was placed into Slytherin. Do you know how humiliating it was not only to be placed into the wrong house, but to be placed into Slytherin, live in front of hundreds of thousands of people?” After receiving the results, Baker breaks into tears on the video. “I was so upset that I did not even bother to find out what patronus they’d give me. I’d have probably ended up with a mastiff dog anyway even though they know that my patronus is supposed to be a mongrel dog.”

Since the video, many have demanded a response from Rowling, who has yet to comment on the controversy. With the upcoming release of the second Fantastic Beasts movie, Rowling has already faced criticism for her support of Johnny Depp, whose alleged domestic abuse and half-assed acting has dwindled his popularity among both wizards and emo kids. Now that Hogwarts may not be as magical as loyal readers originally believed, executives are Warner Bros. have expressed concern that the movie will suffer in the box office from the bad press.
As for Baker, he has set up a GoFundMe to replace all of his Hufflepuff memorabilia and help him pay for the divorce from his mudblood wife.

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